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This morning I posted #745, we can expect #750 before too long. Instead of having another 5 cent lotto to predict the exact moment of arrival I thought we may commemorate 750 rare events in another more inappropriate and unnecessary way:
I suggest we have Elvis in full costume descend via UFO into a crop circle and loctite his own cams. Assisting Elvis in this rite will be Michael Jackson with Bobo his chimp and Anna Nichole to lend their own special expertise. Bring your own drugs, white sequins jump-suits, little boys, or whatever turns you on.
Bolt by bolt coverage will be broadcast live with commentary from "Rosie, Joy, Barbara and Elisabeth" the star experts on absolutely everything from ABC's highly successful morning show "The View"
A reception will be held later by Xzibit at West Coast Customs where SHO owners can "Pimp my Ride" & "Pollute my Hide" with all kinds of illegal substances while their car gets a equally polluted tasteless make-over from a bunch of well pierced and tattooed addicts.
Bring your own helmet, and plenty of spare brake pads for the festivities because after the reception the 144 Club will have a special "Warp across Texas" caravan which could be carried live on Fox News because they always give top priority coverage to police chases live no matter what else more important may be happening.
As always confirm things with Don first and make hotel reservations early, rooms are going fast.
But I realize others my have their own way of remembering the SHOs that have fallen and I want to be sensitive to the religious and cultural values of those who may feel differently. Therefore if you would like to stage this solemn occasion in a more inappropriate and unnecessary way now is a good time to discuss our options.
Buford - my beliefs cause me to investigate starting "cams across America". How far would the line stretch? - Jim
Absolutely! I wanna take Elvis for a ride in my resurrected SHO! - John
RE: "cams across America"
Bumper to bumper, 21,000 cars,
Length: 198.4" each
That equals 4,166,400 inches
~ 65.75 miles,
would you settle for "Cams across NJ"?
Maybe we could just circle Dearborn, would they notice an extra 21,000 old Tauri with bad cams in Dearborn or just part of their urban landscape? - Buford
Ok ok then - How long is a camshaft? How tall a building would failed cams end to end be?- Jim
Depending on the cam - between roughly 15 and 17 inches (the Front intake cam is longer since it drives the Water pump out the end of the valve cover).
700 cams end to end would be about 800 feet roughly or about 80 stories.
Ford's tallest building, the Camshaft Tower of Shame? - Jim
Do the Fraprr Map thing for failed cams. That would be interesting.
How many Cadillac(s) are at the Cadillac ranch? We could out number them, and be just as ugly if only our cars had fins.
Anyone have a scenic rural land they would like to turn into a superfund site?
Buried cam side down to hide the shame we point the ass end of 750 SHOs toward Dearborn and SHO moon them en mass
There is a Photoshop! 750 SHO's arse end up 1/2 buried in front of Furd World Headquarters. Maybe they'd put that in the Detroit News Oct 31st next year... - Jim
We may need to import liquid refreshments from Canada for the task of this magnitude.
Anyone have a nice "before" photo of Furd World Headquarters?
Any photo chop Michael De Angelo's on staff?
Done well it could replace Showhat's photo on the home page for a short time depending on Larry's good graces.
Bury em nose down - Cam Henge - Brad
10 as of this past July.
> How many Cadillacs at the Cadillac ranch? We could out number them, and be just as ugly if only our cars had fins.
I was thinking something highly visible near Dearborn Michigan. - E1
On 11/6/06, Felix Culpa <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
> Hell Kirk has that many DOA SHO a week, we could populate his yard some night?
> Larry has a new home in the country, think Heather would object to lawn art?
oh dear ...... how sad ( but your column is funny ) that's an awful number of cars..... and FORD still don't think they have a problem ..... ?? What will you do when you reach 1000 cars ?