Locker Digest - Victory in Baghdad Edition

new 4/17/03

Dispatched this week to all y'all V8SHO list members around the world, it is indeed time once again for The Non-Flammable Digest!

Week of 04-09-03 to 04-17-03: Special Commemorative Edition, covering about 700 posts in 7 days!

- After last weeks digest, Clare Allenby was concerned and disappointed that he hadn't made the cut. Clare is Good People, and so in his honor (and because he has pictures of all the cool cars, and most importantly because he exhibits an excellent sense of humor!) I hereby declare this digest dedicated to Clare Allenby, and offer this Official Special Edition Commemorative Poem in his honor:

"Clare Allenby", a poem by S.E.Locker

Clare is a great guy, he is so nice
He drives a SHO, and never "rice"
A friend to all, a great Canadian
He made the Digest, so he can't complain again!

(I didn't say it would be a GOOD poem, just a commemorative one.)

Congratulations, Clare!

And now, back to our regular Digest:

- The fall of Baghdad on April 9 and 10 left us all hoping that the history playing out on our television screens will evolve into a new, free Iraq. May the Iraqi people realize the full blessings of freedom and democracy, and enjoy them as we do every day.

Godspeed to all our Service men and women, wherever they are. May they all come home to us safely, as soon as possible.

- Don Mallinson bought one of the recently "price reduced" cams from his friendly local Ford parts dealer. It appears to be the exact same critter that we have all been driving around with. No difference, except *much* cheaper price.

- Kirk indeed bought a Rose Mist on the way home from Don's farm and the Illinois camfest. This led to a brief discussion on the number of Rose Mist cars produced, and then I asked to *see* what Rose Mist looked like (yeah, I know "DOWNLOAD THE SCREENSAVER" I got it already yet!) and then found out I already knew what it looked like - I just didn't know I was supposed to call it "Rose Mist". Then, Brent B. said that "My 92 has the color changing technology on it. During the day, it looks white. But if i put it in the garage at night, with the lights off it looks black. And if I turn the studio lighting on, it looks red." Your intrepid reporter is happy to note that she also shares the same special color-changing technology as Brent B. ;)

- Mark H. also told us that the "Mystic Cobra" paint is *so* special that you have to OWN one to get paint for repairs, etc. The only paint I have ever heard of where you have to have a VIN number to buy it! Kirk said that it's actually made by Dupont... and it's all in who you know... ;) Greg B.'s dad used to work for Dupont and he says the official name is "Chromalusion." Nick (Twisted) paid $700 per quart for the paint he laid down on his Suburban. Nick must *really* like that old 'Burb...

- Tim began formulating a "Cam Plan" that involves a cam (Now only $150 at your local Ford dealer! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, hurry on down and grab one of these now - they were more than $1000, but if you hurry in today to your parts counter, you too can have a NEW cam for your Gen III SHO for only $150 - that's right, only $150! Don't delay!) and a whole lot of measurements. Regrind the cams, and figger out the valve springs, (at high RPM would the valve springs cause float? don't know - we could double spring, or go for lightweight valves) Don't forget to factor the lift and the duration... Clare pointed out that every 1 degree change in retarding or advancing the cam moves the torque up or down 100rpm. We could throw in a new chip, and... then Steve Andriks pointed out that with a custom-crafted cam, you could possibly put 300hp to the pavement. Tim noted that you will need to beef up the ATX, but since a bunch of us are out of warranty any way, it's no biggie deal. Then he decided to plug all the numbers into Desktop Dyno, and it looks like less is more - at least as far as performance goes. THEN, Don M. said maybe a blower is the best way to go "spend a grand or so, and get GRAND results." Finally, Kirk added that he actually AGREED with Desktop Dyno (even though it seemed to pain him to say so) and that “The SS Blows Chunks” ;) So? Do we have a plan for more horsies or not? Geez, I hate a cliff-hanger ending...

- During the "Cam Plan" we found out that Clare Allenby put Chevy valves into his 302 Ford. According to Clare: "The 5.0l will take 1.60 and 2.02 Chevy valves. Ford 302 heads do not need lots of polishing and that is a good way to get airflow on those motors." I love this list! You can learn something new *and* useful every week here! Clare had an '85 GT in college that he ultimately got 331hp at the rear wheels with... Somewhere, Tim Allen just felt faint, and doesn't know why...

- Somehow, somewhere along the way we also started talking about 3.99 final drive ratios. Paul N. said that the only trouble he is having is "...hitting the rev limiter in 1st because the rpms climb so fast and after hard driving the torque converter doesn't want to lock up at speeds above 70mph." Kirk asked about high octane ratings, and we discovered that the problem only manifests itself when the tranny is good and hot. Ian says that he can hit the rev limiter almost every time on cool mornings first time out.

- There are 1320 feet in a quarter mile. With the help of *several* list members, we also found out that there are a whole bunch of other measurements in there too, from lightyears to nautical miles and back again.

- AOL vs V8SHO list: Larry E. told AOL how the cow ate the cabbage, and now his email is good, and all is well in his corner of the universe. Carter ran a 4 day test, and only got around a third of the posts from the list (proving once again *why* the Digest is such a popular and necessary item! ;) Larry says to tell AOL that you should get everything you are paying for - including all your email. Carter says "why bother" he's been there and done that (ad nauseam), and now reads his email from a shiny, new MSN account. Mark aka Wuzzer went 48 hours on AOL with no V8SHO mail. You be the judge...

- Rob Z. asked the now immortal question: "Does your trunk key work?" Some do... some don't. Some have multiple keys, some have only one. I personally have only one, but it works *splendidly* everywhere it is supposed to... Some theorize that it's a "use it or lose it" type thing. Scott K. had the final word on the whole issue: "...use them at least monthly and feed them some lube on a yearly basis and we shouldn't have any more problems with this." Once again... our discussions here have *so* many levels...

- We discovered that Tim has developed (at the very least) a moderate-to-severe case of CRS disease (Can't Remember Stuff) and he had misplaced an entire Digest on the FAQ page. Additionally, he seems to have lost all of March 27th... Buford realized just in the nick of time that Sarah wasn't actually a slacker, and narrowly avoided getting the Roy D. Mercer treatment, which includes a can of Roy's patented "Whup*ss" treatment... Look for the Digest entries in bold green type on the FAQ update every week now! Thanks, Tim! :)

- Steve Andriks is our "dead tree" historian, um, er, I mean Official Archivist (Geez, y'all love titles around here! LOL!) and is now busily printing stuff on a regular basis... We may have to visit him en masse, and make sure there isn't any incriminating evidence over there at his place ;)

- There was an interesting bit of OT chatter about the Amish and Mennonite communities that some of us are familiar with.   We all agree that they are gentle, incredible people, fantastic quilters, and even more fantastic cooks. We also learned that Don Mallinson can *cuss* in Amish!

- Denise had trouble with her alarm - she wound up going to the dealership. When she got there, she found out that a village somewhere is missing it's idiot - because he's standing in front of her, telling her that her car has no alarm system on it... Denise wins the "Moron Wrangler of the Week" Award for keeping her cool while dealing with a dealer tech who clearly isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Congratulations Denise! :)

- RL (Real Life) overtook RL (Rich Larsen) and he has taken a sabbatical from the list. We hope to see him back as soon as he can get stuff in control!

- Some VAK (Vacuum Accessory Killer) questions this week, after Kenny installed his. Paul N. & Mike helped out, but it seemed like Kenny wouldn't quite be able to get it working the way he wanted it to. Then, late in the week, Kenny had an epiphany (or is that an apostrophe? ;) and after the judicious application of both a flathead and a phillips screwdriver he got to have his own little personal "butt dyno" moment, and he is one happily VAK'ed guy! (and nowhere else in the world but this email list would that EVER make any sense... LOL!)

- Justin needs to know where to put his VAK, since he has been Porterized, and still has his stock airbox. Turns out that Kenny also has his stock airbox, so Justin can just do the same thing that Kenny did. It worries me that I actually *understand* what all this means, and why this is an important issue... I think I may need to get out more...

- That durn "Nestle Quick Bunni" tried to stir up trouble again, but Buford went a' wabbit hunting, and before it was all over Sarah was serenaded by Elmer Fudd, who is her favorite cartoon he-man ;) Later in the week, the dumb bunny came back yet again (not once but TWICE) for another round of fun and games. Buford aimed the big guns at the little rabbit, and hopefully he's gone for good this time. If BunniBoy emails you off list, ignore it, and then permanently apply "BunnyBlocker" by sending an email to "abuse@aol.com" listing his email address, and asking that he be blocked from harassing you again.

- Matt H. checked in from Germany, where he is currently deployed, and noted the serious lack of SHOness in his life. All that Autobahn, and no SHO to play with! Seriously, we all hope that Matt gets to come home soon, and that he keeps us posted when he gets a chance.

- Larry E. found his BIG fonts button in his email program, and he has been having BIG fun with us all week long... ;) Actually, it's kinda fun to see his email now - it's guaranteed to be colorful, *and* easy-to-read! :)

- In addition to being our Vice President in charge of Cam Weld Facilitation, Holly is now *also* Assistant to the Manager, Accident Witnesses (of American Accident Witnesses, Inc.) She earned this new position by taking up another position (at the window of her 4th floor office in lovely downtown Tulsa) from whence she can watch the antics and travails of the motoring public. She also gets to see a whole lotta wrecks every week... ;)

- The going rate (according to Kirk) for an assisted "unsubscribe" is now $500 in small, unmarked bills. Man, you gotta *really* want to unsub at that rate...

- Carter lost his glasses (but not his mind) on his trip back east. Kirk found Carter's glasses, but not his sanity. Carter has big plans for another Whoosh engine, but they are on hold due to work stuff.

- Martin M. has a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad case of spring fever. His cure? Our favorite speed: Fast. ;)

- Ian suspects he found a cam failure for sale on AutoTrader, for an outrageous price. (OK, outrageous if the cams have indeed failed)   :( He emailed the dealer who has it for sale, but heard nothing in return. Here's hoping that the next "subscribe" Tim gets isn't a very disappointed new SHO owner in Canada.

- Rob Parker gave me one of the best giggles of the week, when he sent the list this link to the list under the heading "14 second SHO's a real possibility":

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=776885

When I hit the part about "chicks dig convertibles" I lost it completely, and was ROTFLMAO... This is a classic, and may even replace the "Rocket Car" as one of my faves. If you didn't read it last week, take the time to read it now... BTW - 1000 bonus points to anyone on this list who is stylin' enough to wear a big ol' straw hat like this guy from the article:

See how happy his hat has made him? This hat may be the solution to many of our world problems. Further investigation may be necessary... ;)

- Some of the chrome rims are "shedding" on the backside. Larry E posted about his, and suddenly it seems like we have an epidemic. Kirk thinks it's caused by the VAK. Clare agreed, and said it must be from all the newfound horsepower, spinning the chrome right off the wheels... Greg B. bought a set of chromes off of eBay, and the backs of his appear to have been painted silver.

- In the "more bang for your buck" category, Jason suggests the supercharger kit (? $4500 ?) which would give the kick we all crave, but at an admission price than many of us may not be able to justify. Although it won't result in any more hp, you could increase the "cute" factor of your ride with either the Ronal teddy bear wheels, or the daisy wheels that both made the list this week. <ducking and running>

- David D. found 3 AC UltraGuard Gold UPF2 filters he had forgotten about (Tim isn't the only one with a touch of CRS around here...;) and is taking offers.

- Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water, a typo in the everlasting "trunk keys" thread created a whole new kind of fastener... "sex bolts". And away we went... ;)

- Ryan P. got a bad case of waterspots last summer, and was looking for a cure. Recommendation: try a clay bar.   (Remember we can also use it on the windshield also, as learned in a previous Digest)

- Jim/JMP joined our merry little band of V8SHO owners, just in time for a cam weld! Welcome to the madness (again) Jim - keep us posted on how everything is going with your car. Once you get up to speed again if you decide to leave our happy little dysfunctional family, don't forget that $500 unsub fee. (Note to Kirk & Tim: I get a cut of that, right? ;) <muttering to self... Pintos in early childhood... poor kid... it's a wonder he's as normal as he is... ;) >

- Once again, we bask in the glow of the media spotlight; Tim forwarded a post to the list telling us that we (OK, our V8SHO's along with V8SHO.com) made Phil Edmonston's "Lemon-Aid" 2004 Used Car Guide. Not a place that we really want to be, but understandable given the cam issue. The upside is that [1] more media attention puts more pressure on Ford about the cams, and [2] hopefully, more owners will get welded/pinned before they become part of the "failures" list.

- Al Primm lost his wife to an '04 black/black Gran Prix GTP - with paddle shifters. Yes, Virginia, those paddle shifters do exist. Goodbye, Old Blue!

- As we speak, Kirk is taking an actual, real vacation. No cam welds - just fun in the sun. Have fun for the rest of us stuck behind our keyboards! :)

And there ends the Digest...

Sarah :)

Sarah Locker
'97 Performance White 109k aka "SHO White"
w/ Solidly Welded Cams for my Driving Pleasure ;)

Have you seen a LockerSHO today?
AWA of Chuck Jr, '91 Mocha Frost
DIL of Chuck Sr, '99 Black
SIL of Holly Bailey, '96 Willow Green
SIL of Chris '98 Red
HS (Honorary Sister) of Kirk Doucette '97 White StormTrooper

Contact Information