new 9/8/02
So. We got together in OKC tonight for some V8 camaraderie. Only one Tulsa SHOklahoman made it, much to our dismay. We compared greens. The 96 Green is definitely NOT the 99 Green. Started out fairly simply, Holly, Crystal, myself, Dave and Dave (and my other brother Darryl). We talked. We watched the crack dealers head down the dirt road by the river. We watched a little Sooner football. I watched a few little fruit flies wander out of a cup of something Wendy's that was sitting on Dave's desk. They were very nice, chatted me up for a bit, talked cars. The flies also stated that if cars were good, I should give wings a try. We left and decided to go to restaurant where Dave had carnal knowledge of a few waitresses.
The restaurant we went too wasn't bad either... see the attached picture below. So, there we are, talking loudly about sodomy in front of people who barely speak English... and in walks the midget. Now... you know these stories only get better. So in walks the midget, and he comes over to the table and asks if we'd like to see an interpretive dance of the recent football game. We sadly reply in the negative. He walks away. He comes back, says he'll take requests. So... we asked him to do an interpretive dance of V8 cam failure. Oh my, it was RIVETING, let me tell you. Y'all really missed out. I have never been so moved by a 3 foot man doing handstands with tapioca pudding in his hair. We liked him so much, we let him be Dave Ware's new hood ornament. (Just wait 'til Dave gets back from Mexico with the pictures) Hmmm... Software, Hardware, Tupperware, Daveware. hmmmmm. Being mostly mature, rational adults, we decided the best thing for us to do now that we have our own midget would be to hit the strip and cruise around trolling for attention (Tim - we met the Saturn Frog chick - she's very into midgets) We were smothered. Four high-school kids in an Eclipse showed up. One got out, asked to see the car with all the neon, and silently walked off. He stood there for a minute and silently walked back to his car. All four of them got out, and stood staring into the gaping neon-lit maw of Dave's hood. I looked at Dave and said "it's the engine". Whereupon we chatted them up for a bit, and learned that they were fearful of the SHO. They spoke in vague terms about if they saw us, they would never challenge us... but personally I just think it was the midget, who was practicing his gargoyle routine. For those of you who have never experienced it, being #4 in a 4 car caravan, in Oklahoma traffic (which is insipid) is hell. It is made only slightly less bearable when the car you're following has no turn signals whatsoever, and announces their intention with nothing more than an abrupt change of direction. The fun is in guessing which way they're going to go next, and if following won't get you killed. I've never had someone lean out of their car window, with fully half their body sticking out - both arms included to make the point, and yell "YOU'RE GONNA GET SOMEBODY KILLED!!" I gave them the friendly "oops" shrug, and went on my merry way.
The non-Ware Dave works for Southwest airlines, and thus was good with
simplification, and between he and I and Dave, we discovered the absolute
mathematical proof that women are evil. See below. The Bar Where the Waitress
Gropes You was our next stop, and boy did they not disappoint. The karaoke
however, was absolutely painful. We sent the midget up to regulate. Thus, armed
with a gong larger than himself, he discharged his duties. Therefore, inspired
by our midget, do not be surprised when, instead of a long long flaming horrible
email... you just see the Oklahomans respond with a resounding
"GONG!!!". Thanks much, had a great time, and yes, I'll see the
doctor... and yes I'll take ALL of them, not just until the burning
stops.
Frank, Dave, Crystal, Dave, Holly, Dave and Dave in OKC
32 cylinders, 124 valves, 985hp, one pinned, two broken, and one lucky.
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