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"William Wallace" - TSB 04-01-03

new 4/01/03

Ford Motor Company read with great interest and concern “One Odd Failure” on www.v8sho.com and because this is an important concern to our treasured SHO owners it is important to us. In an emergency meeting of our engineering staff we have put together the “William Wallace 50k Service Procedure.” for 1996-1999 Ford Taurus SHOs.

The goal is to dissolve the carbon deposits on intake valves without disassembly or damage to the engine in any way. Service managers will obtain percloride aluminum nitrous meth amphetamine from their local drycleaners for this procedure and mix it 1 part in 10 with denatured acetylene hydrate sufficient to make a total of no more than one pint at a time. It is important to mix it in small batches far from residential areas not only because the mixture can lose it’s potency over time but also because it can be slightly unstable while being mixed. This is known as the Richard Pryor effect.

In essence the service procedure is to introduce a small but steady stream of this mixture while the vehicle is suspended with no drive wheels touching the ground. With one mechanic operating the engine and another introducing the mixture from an enema bag above the Mass Air Flow sensor.

Car owners may not know exactly how to ask for this service so we have named it the “William Wallace 50k Service Procedure” because they may ask you: 

“I’d like you to drink this schyte and blow great balls of fire out your arse.”

Note:  Get your cams welded or else. - Buford

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